


Lonely walk home

by crimsoxcore



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, POV First Person, References to Depression, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 09:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15771315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsoxcore/pseuds/crimsoxcore
Summary: Sayori didn’t feel real, so it occurred to her one day that she should kill herself.





	Lonely walk home

The thought occurs to me one day that I should just kill myself, and it comes so suddenly, that I wasn’t the least prepared to be hit by it. I’m walking home alone today, and it’s lonelier than I would’ve imagined. M/C was walking home with someone else today... Yuri, that’s right.

She’s pretty, smart, and talented (all things that I am most certainly not...), and she seems to like him. I think he likes her too, although it’s a little hard to tell. Honestly, I want to be happy for him, I really do, but I can’t help but feel other things. More cruel feelings that I shouldn’t be having.

Cruel feelings that should be punished, such as jealousy. I’m not good enough for him anyway, so what the hell am I even thinking? I was an idiot for even thinking I had a chance. Besides, he’s known me so long as a friend. A friend, nothing more and nothing less. He wouldn’t ever see me in such a light.

The sun brushes the treetops lightly, and a cool breeze plays with my hair. I think to myself, that I should kill myself. An intimidating thought at first, but the more I think about it the better an idea it seems. I really should kill myself.

I wish I could say I’ve never considered such a thing before, but that would be a big fat lie. I wish I could say I’ve lived my life as the cheerful girl they’ve all come to know, and this thought entered my head today for the first time completely randomly. But that’s a lie.

The opinions of the people around me (when it came to suicide,) varied a little. Some people thought it was awful and selfish, while others argued it was a perfectly treasonable thing to do if things got bad enough.

Either way, my parents would probably be devastated to lose their only child. To think I’d consider doing such a thing to them, so often too...

I really am selfish, Sayori is a selfish, filthy loser who doesn’t deserve happiness! Who doesn’t deserve to live!

I feel an agonizing scream creeping up my throat, threatening to escape, but I hold it back. It’s so lonely I can’t stand it.

No, though, this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about killing myself. Just the other day, when I was in the shower, I thought about it quite heavily. I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, just shaving my legs. Then, I remember staring at the razor and taken over by an urge to do it. This blade I held in my hands had the power to end my life right then and right now - so why not?

No matter how deep inside myself I look (and maybe I could learn something about this from one of Yuri’s poems,) all I am is a doll stuffed with vicious blood and tissue, with the capabilities of walking and talking. I have no real talents to speak of, (I like poetry and writing, but I’m awful at it,) and nothing really makes me special. I’m clumsy and cheery, almost like a stereotype of a character in one of Natsuki’s manga.

I didn’t feel real - so I considered killing myself.


End file.
